Now you’re done with your first revision now it's time to revise it again. This time look at your descriptions in your narrative writing. Do you have something that reads like this?
The man sat in the shadows sad that he lost his wife.
Turn it into a scene like you like you would see in a move. Basically show don't tell.
A tear dripped of the end of the man’s nose. "Daddy, when is mommy, coming home from heaven?
"She's not. She's not."
You see, in that scene I told you the same thing I did in the sentence above, but because I showed that he was sad, and his wife died, it is a much more powerful read.
Watch your adverbs
Be careful of adverbs, they are more often than not your enemy not your friend in writing.
The boy snuck down stairs quietly.
That sounds fine right, but remember what I said about turning it into a scene. The adverb sometimes keeps us from doing that.
The boy paused and held his breath as the board creaked. He glanced over at his parents’ door, swallowed and continued to tiptoe down the stairs.
You see what taking an adverb out and describing the scene did. I even avoided the word "nervously" when he looked at the door. Let the readers figure that out for themselves it's what makes good writing and good reading.
Now do a readers theater piece and choose a play to practice reading at https://www.dramanotebook.com/plays-for-kids/scripts-based-on-childrens-books/. Read it with the feeling that is behind the words.
Think about the feelings that you are wanting to tell the reader about, how can you add that feeling to your writing? Think about how they turned these pieces into plays. You want to do something like that in your writing. In fact down below practice turning your writing into a play.
Listen