Leaving my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I was excited and terrified simultaneously. Although I had been planning to leave for about five years, the closer I came to the departure date, the more I was filled with fear, anxiety, sadness, and doubt. My feelings were strong, and they overwhelmed me, rendering me unable to function.
I had already resigned from a job that I loved as a secretary in the Office of the President, at Cleveland State University, on the 12th floor of Rhodes Tower. My office had a magnificent view of the city, and the position I had once held allowed me to meet some of the most interesting people like the mayor of the city, congressmen, senators, and CEOs. Years before I had obtained the position, I had made up my mind to go to Chicago, attend Moody Bible Institute, study the Bible and communications, and become a Christian radio talk show host. Now the day of reckoning had arrived, and despite the fear I now felt, I knew I had to pull myself together, pack my five suitcases, and catch the Greyhound bus. The only problem was that I couldn't bring myself to do it.
The year was 1995, and the previous year, I had visited Moody Bible Institute and had spent two days on the Chicago campus. I was then convinced that attending Moody was the right thing to do and living in Chicago while I went to Bible college would be the opportunity of a lifetime, but now, as I sat on the edge of my bed filled with sorrow at the thought of leaving everything and everyone that I had ever known, as well as my beloved Cleveland, I wasn't so sure. I was a woman fully grown and old enough to have children of my own, but I wanted assurance from the people who loved and knew me best, my mother and father, but they had passed away some years before, and now I felt alone in the world and doubtful. The feeling was powerful, and I had not experienced it since adolescence.
The day was a typical, snowy January day in Cleveland, and the Greyhound bus to Chicago was scheduled to leave at 9:00 a.m. But I was still unpacked, and had sobbed so hard until my stomach, literally, hurt. I began to think that my well-thought out plan to leave my job, which I had already done, was not a wise one. The University president had offered me a promotion and a hefty raise as motivation to stay, but I had turned it down because I believed that going to Moody would help me reach my destiny. Now, I began to question everything. How was I going to live as an undergraduate on campus with all those fresh-faced teenagers. Why had I agreed to it? Why did Moody have the rule that if you were single and had no family in the city that you had to live on campus? I continued asking whys, then tried thinking logically, reasoning that I had known all these things prior to this day and had still decided to go to Moody. Unfortunately, my body remained immobile, except for my hands, which pulled the covers over my head.
Time, as it always does, moved on. First 6:00 a.m., then 6:30 a.m., then 7:00 a.m., until finally, I did the only thing that I could do at that point, and that was pray. I began to pray for the mind, strength, and will to do what I knew had to be done. Shortly after I said, "Amen," the phone began to ring. I reached from under the covers to pick it up, and it was my friend, Paula, on the other end. When I heard her voice, I knew that all would be well. She said, "I was thinking about you, so I decided to call to see if you were okay, how you're doing, and if you're packed."
I explained, through profuse tears, my dilemma. She volunteered to come and help me saying, "I can drop the kids off at day care early, then I'll be right over." Paula and I had met in another department before my promotion to the president's office. She was an organizational master. She soon came to my furnished room, picked up the clothes that had been pulled out of the drawers and were scattered all over, and packed all five suitcases. She was done within 45 minutes, and we headed out to her car to put the bags in the trunk.
We talked for a bit, said our so longs, and hugged. She was on her way to work, and I was now in the bus station waiting for my sister, Elise; brother-in-law, Del; and three-year-old niece, Kayla; to arrive. They soon came, and I was overjoyed that my sister had packed me a lunch, filled with all my favorite foods, like fried chicken, potato salad, fruit, and bread. Seemingly, she thought I was going on a long road trip, but it didn't matter; I could share my food with a hungry bus mate.
After spending time at the station talking to my sister and brother-in-law, and laughing at my tired niece as she laid her entire body across one of my suitcases as we stood in line waiting for the Chicago bound bus. When it arrived, the sign read "Cleveland," but it would soon be changed to Chicago.
Almost immediately, I felt grateful for answers to prayer. My best friend had come through and some of my family had come all the way from Akron to see me off, and the timing with everything was perfect. I had thought it would be impossible to make it to the bus station on time, but somehow the impossible had become a reality. Again, I was confident that I had made the right decision. My thoughts were, "Chicago, here I come!"
THE END