Mom, You Won't Believe It!

Mrs. Oliver paced back and forth in front of the window. She checked her watch.

"Three thirty. Where is that boy already?"

Finally, two minutes later Winston came running up the walk and into the house. "Mom, Mom, you're not going to believe it ---"

"What is it this time Winston?" his mother asked.

"A space ship."

"A space ship? Oh come on Winston -"

"Really Mom. I was hurrying home from school because I knew you were waiting for me, and I took a shortcut through the McNally backyard when this shining black object began hovering right above me, maybe ten or twelve feet in the air."

"A shining black object you say?" Mrs. Oliver smirked at her son. "What exactly did it look like?"

"Um, it kind of resembled a pickle," Winston said.

"A pickle?"

"Yeah, except that it was black, and most pickles are kind of green, you know? Anyway, I looked up and then I was pulled right off the ground and into an invisible doorway."

"Who laid you across the table Winston?"

"The people from Mars."

"How do you know they're from Mars?"

"Mom, they were speaking Martian, where else would they be from? They laid me across a table, strapped me in, poked, probed, and examined me from the tip of my head to the bottom of my toes."

"What were the looking for?" Mrs. Oliver asked.

"How should I know Mom. I don't speak Martian. After what seemed like hours, the invisible door opened and they tossed me out. Luckily I landed on Mrs. McNally's rose bushes."

"What did they look like?"

"Mrs. McNally's rose bushes?"

"Not the rose bushes Winston, the Martians. What did the Martians look like?"

    "Sort of like bananas, only they were sort of a purple color," Winston answered.

    "The space ship looked like a pickle and the Martians looked like bananas?"

    "Did you see them too Mom?"

    "No I didn't see them Winston.  I said it because ... because ... oh I don't know what I mean.  Let's just drop the whole thing now.  Go into the kitchen, have some milk and cookies, and do your homework, and then go out and play.  And tomorrow, please, get here by three fifteen, okay?" 

The next day Mrs. Oliver paced back and forth in front of the window. She checked her watch.

"Three thirty. Where is that boy already?"

"Finally two minutes later Winston came running up the walk and into the house. "Mom, Mom, you're not going to believe it -"

"What is it this time Winston? Were you captured by little people from the middle of the Earth?"

"Wow Mom, I never knew little people come from the middle of the Earth. There's a little guy in my gym class and he told me he was from Pennsylvania. That lying dog. Anyway, I was hurrying to get here by three fifteen, just like you told me to, and I cut through the Martinson backyard."

"Not the McNally backyard?" Mrs. Oliver asked.

"Mom, do you think I'm stupid? Yesterday I went that way and a space ship kidnapped me."

"Okay, okay Winston, so today you went through the Martinson backyard. What happened this time?"

"I got kidnapped by the same spaceship."

"Oh no, not again," Mrs. Oliver groaned.

"That's the same thing I said to the Martians after they pulled me through the invisible door. 'Oh no, not again'."

"Did they poke and probe you all over the time too?"

"Uh uh. This time they took me back to Mars and tried to teach me a weird kind of video game in which a meatball tries to put a pair of yellow socks over its head."

"Come on Winston, why would they take you all the way to another planet just to teach you a ridiculous video game?"

"Gee Mom, you're the parent here. I was hoping you could explain that one to me."

If you traveled all the way to Mars, how could you have gotten back here so fast?" Mrs. Oliver asked.

"I think they went a little above the speed limit. Lucky there were no cops in space, or boy would the Martians have gotten an expensive ticket. They brought me back to the Martinson backyard and dropped me right on top of their geraniums."

"What did they look like Winston?"

"Mom, I told you yesterday what the people from Mars looked like."

"Not the people from Mars. I'm talking about Mrs. Martinsons's geraniums. She's always had such a pretty garden."

"Are you teasing me Mom?"

"Now why would I ever do that Winston?" You would never kid me, would you?"

"Who me? Never Mom."

"Okay, okay, enough of this nonsense. Now go inside and do what you have to do, and please, please, tomorrow get home on time."

The next day Mrs. Oliver decided not to sit idly by waiting for Winston to come walking into the house late again with another feeble excuse. This time she decided to go to his school and follow him home, hoping to find out what he's been up to the last couple of days.

At precisely three fifteen Winston ran up the front walk and burst into the house. "Mom, Mom," he called out, surprised she wasn't at the front door waiting for him. He looked all over, but couldn't find her. Finally, he began to pace back and forth in front of the window. He checked his watch. "Three thirty. Where is she already?"

Finally, two minutes later Mrs. Oliver came running up the walk and into the house. Her hair and clothes were a mess, and she appeared completely out of breath.

"Where were you Mom?" Winston asked.

"You're not going to believe this Winston, but I just got sucked right off the ground and into a spaceship!"